A Remarkable Discovery

I have made what, for me, is a remarkable discovery. Simple, yet remarkable. I’ve been studying Cathy Johnson’s CD “Drawn from Life – An Artist’s Journal”. She talks about how consolidating her journal into one book where she keeps lists, both grocery and to-do, sketches, notes, thoughts about her day, like a diary – everything all in one place. Well for years (as long as I can remember) I have had a writing journal, a sketchbook, and I would make lists wherever I could find a piece of paper and then they’d end up in my purse and I’d throw them away after they were completed. I write quotes and Scripture verses on index cards and they are all over my house. I keep a separate written journal for sermon notes that I take to church with me. So you can imagine the books and books of this and that taking over my house.

I’ve tried to make lists in my “sketchbooks” and use them for writing and everything, but I can’t do it. Sometimes I get something in my head and I write pages and pages and pages until I get it resolved. Sometimes a Scripture will strike me and I write pages and pages on it. I could not and still cannot write in a “sketchbook”. It just doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t have lines and the paper is too heavy and expensive feeling for something as simple as writing. I also can’t seem to freely sketch and make messy sketchy notes in a sketchbook – what with all the books on journaling and the whole idea of making a journal page with collage elements and mixed media, etc. I can’t bring myself to do a gesture drawing on a page. I can’t seem to do a page without adding color. If it’s in a sketchbook I feel like it has to be a piece of art worthy of sharing with the world. Then I do my “Heart Songs” on the 5x7 pieces of Stonehenge or watercolor paper that I carry around, always wondering if they are true “art”, or just doodles since they come from my imagination. It has really become overwhelming and quite ridiculous. The more I look at other people’s work and read the more overwhelmed, disjointed, and inadequate I feel.

Then I read how Cathy (Kate) Johnson keeps everything in one book and how her life feels whole because of that change. I can’t figure out how to go about doing this. “No. I can’t give up my writing journal,” I tell myself, “because there are days when I write many pages.” So I had given up the idea and told myself I had to have several books for each activity.

Yesterday after writing in my writing journal about this “dilemma”, I went to lunch and I was so tired from all the thinking and pondering I’ve been doing about what to take to the beach – which sketchbook, what art supplies, which books, etc. – that I was sick of the whole mess. I didn’t even want to pull out my art supplies and sketchbook at lunch. I sat in the park in the car under a shade tree.

I pulled out my writing journal deciding I only had the energy to write. I pulled out a sanguine Faber Castell Pitt Pen and I began to write.

Then I looked over at a couple sitting under the picnic shelter. I thought about the book by Charles Reid, Pulling Your Paintings Together, and how he draws the contour like a dot-to-dot. I began to draw the people.

They were, as you can see from the photo, very rough little drawings, but I was totally relaxed doing them and it was just in my writing journal so it didn’t matter…

I did another page of their different poses; then I saw a groundskeeper and began to draw him too. I filled up a page. I drew the pine tree. It wasn’t great, but I kept working – it was, after all, just in my writing journal. I kept working and then it began to dawn on me…

I was free – I was sketching! I was drawing! I was writing! I was making myself notes in the margin! I was relaxed and having fun! I wasn’t trying to make a good page!

I had never thought of it. I was thinking of it all backwards. I was trying to make my sketchbook combine with my writing, when instead, I should have been combining my writing with my sketching. I can do all of what I do in the lined pages of my inexpensive writing journal. I just couldn’t write in my sketchbook – so there you go! I would make my writing journal also my sketchbook.

Suddenly I realized what I’d been struggling to achieve had been achieved without my even realizing what was happening!!!

I wrote in my journal: “Finally, Cathy (Kate), I get it!! Good grief… I’m a writer and an artist; I’m a list-maker, a note-taker. Why in the world do I have to carry around so many books and supplies!…I’ll make my grocery lists here. Write down random thoughts and things I need to remember. Quotes from books and Scripture verses, anything I want to write! I can also draw anything and everything I see! I can doodle and dawdle and noodle and dabble! And do it all right here in YOU, sweet Journal!”

So now I know what I’m taking to the beach – my sweet journal and some pens, pencils and watercolor crayons. Then I’ll also take my new 11x14 Aquabee sketchbook for back at the beach house when I want to paint with my watercolors and gouache and explore those sketches further! How perfect! How freeing!

Seems also quite elementary, but I had to EXPERIENCE it before I understood it!