I am finding myself sharing a lot of my journaling with you - must be getting more comfortable with this whole blogging thing. I like sharing with you and being very open and transparent. Because when it comes down to it - we're all in this thing together :-)
So first my handmade book -
Remember my post on December 26 regarding my handmade book - http://daloweartist.blogspot.com/2009/12/handmade-book.html
Well this is my first session of starting to fill it. The photo above is the very first page as you open the cover - I guess in most books this would be the title page. I began by painting each page in blue watercolor and then adding collage elements. The page below is two paintings, one on fabric - collaged into the book - I will add text and other elements later. This is definitely a work-in-progress.
The page below is a paper towel collaged on the page. I liked the pattern imprinted in this paper towel and noticed how nice it looked when I blotted the watercolor painted page at left. So I was inspired to glue the blotter paper towel in as a nice background.
Now my next subject - I'll call it "Binging and Purging - Creativity Bulemia"
Yesterday I was reading Suzanne Simanaitis' pages on "Addition and Subtraction: An Artist Finds Herself Amidst the Clutter" in Sheri Gaynor's book Creative Awakenings. She writes:
Now I don't know if this hit home with some of you, but, oh, it did with me!!"That's why its so sad and so difficult to get rid of all this stuff. It feels
like I'm abandoning the dreams that go with it...This hoarding is symptomatic of a failure to live in the present. I saw, I desired, I bought. That felt gratifying. But I didn't follow through on the vision; now I barely recall that beautiful object I so fervently wished to create."
Pictured above at top left is my little corner of the kitchen, okay big corner... Then I show my individual drawer of watercolor tubes (top right), and acrylics (bottom left) and lastly colored pencils.
Now Ms. Simanaitis was writing this "intention" (to find out what that is you'll have to order the book :-)) because her house was so cluttered with art supplies that she couldn't get to a clear space to create. I don't have that problem necessarily, but I do have a problem; as perhaps do we all, with the need to buy art supplies and, for me, books.
I know I can be inspired by a new material reference in someone's blog entry, an excerpt from a book, and suddenly I must have that new art thingy-majig, and I must have it NOW!! Another weird thing I do is that I must have two of everything. Two of all my favorite colors of markers, colored pencil, paint tubes, etc. Two Faber-Castell Pitt Big Brush Pens in black - two Ebony design pencils -- whatever the new thingy is - I must have two. What is that?
I've thought this over to some great length - as this isn't the first time I've examined this whole issue. I think in my case, it's fear. Fear that I'll run out of something. Fear of not having enough. Because my thought process goes like this - "Now let's see, how many tubes of cobalt violet watercolor do I have? Oooh I love that color! Uh-oh I only have 2 1/2 tubes and this one is almost empty - what if I run out - I should order more!" Now I ask you, is one tube of any color not enough at one time? It's as if I think that one day the world is going to run out of art supplies and I will be left bereft and alone with my partial tube of dried up cobalt violet paint.
Also I think that for some reason buying new art supplies or new books for me is like getting a "fix". It creates excitement and gets my adrenaline flowing. The problem is it's short-lived and within a few days or a week the new "thing" I was so excited about is now old. And the cycle continues.
And then one day I feel guilty and overwhelmed by all my new "things" and I gather up a box of things I think I can part with and I donate or somehow rid myself of them... only in most cases to eventually buy at least part of them back and bemoan the rest asking myself how I could have been so silly as to have sold that/given that away!! And the cycle continues.
Where will it end!? It must end.
What about you? Any of this ring true? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
15 comments:
Ha, the child of our age. You've learned your lesson from the media well. CONSUME! Consume now, MORE. Go shopping. The true sign of the addict. Having ONE spare is understandable, two starts clutter, to me. I love in a big house, but I'm careful to limit the number of projects I start, and I always clean and put everything away before a new one, even if it means pulling the stamps and the paints out again. I'm a maniac. ;-)) Thanks for sharing your heart. I'd love to get into your pencil collection!!!! I just started a class with Suzi Blu, and she's the pencil queen. I'm used to paint, I feel so.... stuck. Have fun!
I love your first picture! Love the colors together! :)I USED to be a clutter woman (regarding my house) then I met flylady.net and all that changed! It is freeing to "bless" someone with the things we dont love or use. I cant wait to see the rest of your ideas. :)
So true! I have to become more of a creator and less of a consumer/hoarder! Love your blue pages! Keep opening up; I'll be sure to hear and see!
Oh yeah, I can relate. I've gotten rid of lots of my "collected art stuff" - I gave it to an art teacher to use in her classroom. BUT - I still have tons of stuff ... for which I'm very grateful! lol nancy
Lots of things to think about. My weakness is books--I keep thinking I will work my way through them--and then I find another that I really want! It's hard to resist all the art stuff! However, compared to some peoples stashes, mine is quite moderate!!
Remember a drawing class I had and all "we" students carried in tons of supplies. One day the artist/teacher said we had to do a drawing using ALL of our materials. Yikes! It was difficult to do. Cured me and made me think of what I really needed. That's not to say I don't love everything. It would be heaven to live in an art supply store.
Love your blue pages. Yummy color. Your supply photos are amazing. The pencils look like a still life waiting to happen.
I don't buy two of everything. Sometimes I buy one of everything and five of something! I do fear something won't be available later but I need to get over that because even if it's true, I want what is replacing it! I am a great consumer or at least stocker-upper. The trick for you and I is to CONSUME what we buy. Then we'd have lots of gifts to give away and everyone would be happy. I see you really do have a lot of supplies. Why don't you agree that you won't buy a single new art thingy until you complete this journal? That wouldn't be so bad would it? Your journal is beautiful (be careful on the paper towels - I had a double layered one and put the glue on the layer that didn't absorb all the paint. Yep, the other peeled off). I hope to see some cobalt violet used with wild abandon either in it or on some accompanying pieces. We really are in this together as most of us horde art supplies and books. I use the excuse that I am passing all my stuff down to my granddaughters (like they will really want my old stuff - well maybe my beads). I still say don't get rid of your stuff, just start using what you have okay? I know you are not being selfish with it as you make lots of gifts. Just use it. Good luck. Hope to see more journaling soon.
I don't dare show pictures of the three rooms I have taken over. This insanity MUST stop. I could open a hobby store. Yours looks very neat to me. Wanna come organize me? :-)
Your pages are lovely. Love the swirly first one. And the blue. My favorite color.
Books are my weakness. And those Somerset magazines/CPS/Art quilting, etc. I'm addicted.
I have a drafting table exactly like yours. I got it 29 years ago when I was a teenager :-)
A great post - I can relate to so much of what you write. For me, it is the books, especially. I think that the new book will contain THE SECRET to being a great artist! Of course it never does and, as we all know, there is no secret - it is practice that is needed!
Very nice pages, I love color too! And as far as the art supply hoarding, yes I am guilty as well but over the past few months have been trying to use up what I have... very difficult sometimes!
Though I don't feel the need to buy two of everything, I do suffer from the need to purchase every supply that another artist used to create something I loved. And also the art books. And I also always plan to work my way through them, only to find another book I have to have. I wouldn't call myself that typical "consumer" either. I can walk straight passed the clothes and shoes or whatever and not feel the slightest twinge! It's about that need to be creative.
First things first: That drawing table is awesome!
I'm still with you. I keep making resolutions that I'm not going to buy anymore art stuff, but there's always something else that I NEED for a certain project or an item that I just can't live without. A special weakness of mine is sketchbooks/journals. I keep searching for the "perfect" one. Ha!
I often see knitters resolve to knit from the stash and form groups to that effect. Maybe we should start a "Use up the art supplies you have" group! LOL
Raena, you echoed my thoughts shortly after I typed this post! I can turn down anything when I'm shopping except Books and Art Supplies. I will buy clothes at Goodwill and the consignment stores only when I NEED something, truly need it, but I will not think twice about buying that book - I simply cannot resist, especially ART BOOKS! It's all about the passion and the creativity!
This is scarey!! I have the same symptoms and I feel so guilty for having so much "supplies". Yet I rarely create so why do I need more supplies?? Yet it never fails!!! I go buy more!!!!!! Ughhhh the vicious cycle!
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