It just occurred to me that I’m missing my happy art. The crazy swirls and bright colors, the expressive but not realistic paintings. I’m feeling a sense of loss and a sort of mundane-ness with the realistic sketching and painting, the disciplined painting. The learning, the rules… Today I feel out of sorts, sad, dull. I think part of the reason is I miss the bright colors, the coffee cups, the teapots, the crazy flower shapes and swirls.
I had dreams last night that were very disturbing – reliving the past, that sort of thing… and I thought, the therapy I need is to paint some “heart songs.”
I’m trying to fit my art into a mold that says “real art” to me. Real art is art you have to work hard at and be disciplined about, right? Play is not real art. Playing around with bright colors and images that are not realistic – that’s not real art. I realize right now, this moment, that I’ve made yet another mistake. Why do I make it so hard? Why do I make it so hard on myself?
I don’t want to paint barns and trees and realistic vases of flowers; I thought I did. Art minus joy. I have a painting on my easel now of a barn and trees. I like the painting, but it doesn’t make my heart sing! It’s a good painting (or a good start to one), but my heart doesn’t sing when I look at it. Knowing what it feels like for my art to make my heart sing; how can I go back to just the feeling of, “I have created a good painting.” There is no comparison.
I’ll still do the 100 paintings – but without any restrictions; maybe they won’t even be done with watercolor, maybe I’ll use several different media. 100 joy-filled pieces of art. Now wouldn’t that be better... My paintings do not have to sell! Why is it that in my mind art that doesn’t “sell” isn’t art! I compare myself to others, that’s what’s wrong. Art is an expression of the individual. It doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing! Art is therapy for me. The best sort of therapy. So, while it may not be art, per se, the above painting sure did make my heart sing AND it was done on cheap student grade watercolor paper!
Now I may go home and "liven" up the barn painting...
16 comments:
So glad you added that last line. As I read, I thought to myself, she should go paint bright colors and swirls and joy into her barn scene!! Forget the realism and add whimsical, free flowing touches!! Your flowers are a happy addition to my day!
It sounds like you have an answer at the end. Liven up the barn painting. Let go and see what happens. Remember, "Trees do not have to have brown trunks and green leaves"! That's true of everything. You might think of that as you play and create. I saw some really bold paintings of fairly realistic subjects, but the buildings were a strong blue and the trees were a bright yellow. Very bold!
Find your own vision. It's there!
wonderfully happy and carefree! That's what this sketch is!
I agree with the other two comments. Go liven up that barn and perhaps you will find you enjoy mixing the two styles and maybe not. You just have to do what makes you happy and really, if today you want to paint a realistic picture then do so. And if in the morning you find it just needs that purple roof or giant flowers or bright window shutters then do them. Have fun. Lets see what you do. I like todays pic. Give us a before and after of the barn - even if you end up covering the whole thing, okay?
Who said you have to stick to one "style"? It's your challenge to paint 100 paintings and so you are the only one making the rules. I am glad you painted something to make your heart sing. And don't discount your work as not being real art because you think it's something that wouldn't sell. You never know.
you are soooo not alone with these thoughts. There is that pull to what you want to do, to what you should do....the inner critic wanting its way. Go with your singing heart...it will never lead you astray. :)
Yes, you have the right idea - do what makes you feel good and be happy! I'm convinced that makes the best art. nancy
I like the answer at the end. All of us can paint a barn - but only you can make it sing your song. And when it does, people will see the sincerity - the truth in it - and they will hear your tune, and that's what will make it special.
Yeah you make the rules, you bend the rules...you're basically the ruler ^^
I love how this turns out whether it is within or without rules =)
Thank you all so much for your comments. Words like whimsical, free flowing, bold, happy and carefree - like music to my ears...Dan, your comment is absolutely poetic and should be on a poster somewhere where we can read it everyday. Freebird, I will post before and after pics of the barn and also the sketch I worked from. The wheels are turning - and the weekend is coming -- I can feel my heart tuning up to sing !
I could have written most of this post, cause it's so similar to how I feel sometimes. That feeling that says "Shouldn't I have some kind of plan or work from a concept or something? Shouldn't I know what I am doing? Shouldn't I work with an idea, instead of just playing around with color and materials?" Well, you get the picture. The minute I get serious about my art it looses it charm. Funny thing that is. So I suppose we have to learn to accept our process and our pleasure in it. Maybe it only is art if we enjoy making it! So enjoy making your art, it's colorful and pretty, what else is there? ;-)
do what makes YOU happy!
Go for colour and fun. That's what I say. And who says a barn can't be painted pink! :-)
Part of art is putting your heat song into what you're painting. I think it makes you more of an artist to put bright colors and swirls into a barn painting, because it is your personality that you're adding. Look at Van Gogh, did he painting plain ole' barns? NO WAY!! Go for your goal, but don't try to be something you aren't because you think that is what defines art! You are the artist!!
real art is whatever speaks to the heart - from one heart to another
usually painted barns don't do it for me ;)
but whimsical teapots and swirls appeal - to each his own - and for every artist, there is a buyer, or an appreciator :)
There's lots of art that DOES sell that's whimsical and happy - take a look at the card shops and the calendars at this time of year!!!
I love your bright colours- and maybe you'll find a place to sell it LATER...enjoy making your art now!
LOL
Deb E
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