Important Discoveries and EDinM # 11

Thanks to Liz Steel of http://borrominibear.blogspot.com/ who has inspired me so much. First of all, she knows that she is a "sketchbook artist only." She knows who she is, what she likes, and what her art is about. (Read her About Me section.) Decisive, focused, sure.
That's my goal - to know what I'm about, what I like, and what I need to be doing in my art. What are my goals and objectives for my art. That is a question that Roz http://rozwoundup.typepad.com/roz_wound_up/ posed to me in an earlier conversation about supplies.

I can relate to so much of Liz Steel's blog. Deep down my passion is sketching in a sketchbook; however, I continually feel this need to prove my worth as a "real artist." That is something I must overcome. What in the world defines a "real artist?" I think in my mind it is someone who has a studio and works full-time, making a living at their art. That makes one a "real artist." Reminds me of how Pinocchio wanted to become a "real boy." What is this need in me? This need for validation and this search for self worth... Sometimes I try and satisfy this need with the purchase of new supplies - a new purchase everytime I read a reference to something I don't have in a blog, or sometimes I enter local art shows; I've joined a co-op gallery, rented a studio space only to find that didn't make me a real artist and didn't work out for me at all - none of it fulfilled the need. Because I suppose the need is something in me... something that I need to let go of.
I've spent the last week contemplating and soul-searching. The result - I've decided to put a buying freeze on myself for one year. I will buy no art supplies or books for one year. I will use that year to enjoy, use, and explore what I have already amassed. I compare it somewhat to bulemic binging and purging, only not with food, but with art supplies and books. It is a sickness and it is not healthy, financially or mentally. So until May 11, 2010, I will refrain (at my own choosing) from purchasing any new art supplies or books. During that time I hope I can relax, focus, and allow myself to detach and figure out what's really important to me, without so many distractions and overwhelming "things to do."

Having said all this, in keeping with this new goal and these discoveries, I have done two 2-page spreads for today's Every Day in May #11. Thanks to Liz Steel, I had the fresh realization (or perhaps epiphany) that my sketchbook is mine. It doesn't have to be restricted to only "original art" nor does it have to be restricted to only archival materials. It is for me to play, experiment, learn and grow. I can copy or make a mess and it's okay!! Basically, anything goes - because it's mine! What freedom! I have decided that starting today I will try drawing new things - especially people and not just draw things I'm most familiar with or like to draw the most - like flowers, teacups, birds, books, etc. But hard things, things that will push me, test me, strengthen me, and motivate me to learn and become a better artist. I will feel free to copy drawings from books, draw from photos in magazines, or anything else I feel like doing, because there are no rules!! Imagine! No rules! Why did I never think of that before ? So below are my beginning studies of drawing people. I may continue it or I may not - because there are ... you guessed it... NO RULES!!